Category Archives: Self

Friday’s Letters 9.0

Dear Self-  
It has been such a rough past month or so.  And things have been so crazy.  
Just know that I am proud of you and I love you.
Dear Nasty People in the world-
 You will not bring me down.  But go ahead and wear yourself out trying…
Happy Friday, friends.  Be strong.
Linking up for my only blog post this week.  Sorry y’all!  I hope to bounce back soon.


A Favorite Song: On the Radio


This is how it works
It feels a little worse
Than when we drove our hearse
Right through that screaming crowd
While laughing up a storm
Until we were just bone
Until it got so warm
That none of us could sleep
And all the styrofoam
Began to melt away
We tried to find some words
To aid in the decay
But none of them were home
Inside their catacomb
A million ancient bees
Began to sting our knees
While we were on our knees
Praying that disease
Would leave the ones we love
And never come again

On the radio
We heard November Rain
That solo’s really long
But it’s a pretty song
We listened to it twice
‘Cause the DJ was asleep

This is how it works
You’re young until you’re not
You love until you don’t
You try until you can’t
You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh
And everyone must breathe
Until their dying breath

No, this is how it works
You peer inside yourself
You take the things you like
And try to love the things you took
And then you take that love you made
And stick it into some
Someone else’s heart
Pumping someone else’s blood
And walking arm in arm
You hope it don’t get harmed
But even if it does
You’ll just do it all again

And on the radio
You hear November Rain
That solo’s awful long
But it’s a good refrain
You listen to it twice
‘Cause the DJ is asleep
On the radio
(oh oh oh)
On the radio
On the radio – uh oh
On the radio – uh oh
On the radio – uh oh
On the radio

Ps- The highlighted section in the middle of the song are some of my favorite lyrics of all time.  So much TRUTH to them, for me personally.

Ps#2- I am working on another post and I hope to have it up later.  Sorry I skipped posting yesterday… I spent all day with my MAN!  😉 You understand, I’m sure!

Have a BLESSED and BEAUTIFUL day, friends!


Note to Self

Give yourself a BIG BEAR HUG!!! 
 That’s right!  Just like when you were little and all your friends giggled because it looked like you were kissing yourself.  Little did you know (way back when) that it is perfectly acceptable to give yourself a little LOVE!
 As important as outward kindness is, the same is true for practicing love toward yourself! 
Self-love, (yes, even that kind), is Healthy with a capital H.  
There are times when you need your own love and kindness more than you need it from anyone else.  There are times when the most important reminder you can give yourself is to “Be Gentle.”  
Be gentle with your emotions and feelings, be gentle with your thoughts and ideas, be gentle with how you move through the day(s)… Be patient with yourself.
…. in bed …. 😉
 This ends up having an outward effect; yes, in fact, the attitude that you adopt toward yourself will ultimately radiate in waves to those you have regular contact with.  But it begins and ends with you… the “self.”  
It is so easy to forget, to overlook, to sacrifice, our “selves” to tend to external obligations, including relationships.  It is so easy to get caught up in “life” and skip over the part where your own needs are being met.  
But let’s face it…. no one is going to meet your needs for you without your own participation!  You need to involve yourself in your own LIFE!!
Next time you are looking for solace or reassurance, maybe before or after you have confided in loved ones, make it a point to be still with yourself and fill the voids with love.   
You have to start somewhere with this whole self-love business.   
One way or another, you’re going to have to face yourself.  One way or another, you’re going to have to begin to love and respect yourself enough that you settle for nothing else from anyone else.  
If nothing else, try looking in the mirror, and as awkward as you may think you look, just smile.  And smile BIG!

Let’s all treat ourselves to some affection from time to time. 

The Awakening

 There comes a time in your life when you finally get it…
When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop
dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your
head cries out – ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down
after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside,
you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears
and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look
at the world from a new prospective.  
This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for
something, or someone, to change…or for happiness, safety
and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come
to terms with the fact that there aren’t always fairytale endings
(or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of
“happily ever after” must begin with you. So, you begin
making your way through the “reality of today” rather than
holding out for the “promise of tomorrow.” You realize
that much of who you are, and the way you navigate through life is,
in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you’ve
received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift
through all the nonsense you were taught about:
– how you should look and how much you should weigh
­ what you should wear and where you should shop
­ where you should live or what type of car your should drive
­ who you should sleep with and how you should behave
­ who you should marry and why you should stay –
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view.
And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really
believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown,
or should never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone
will love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and
that’s OK…they are entitled to their own views and opinions.
And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size
5 or a “perfect 10″….Or a perfect human being for that matter…
and you stop trying to compete with the perfect image inside your head
or agonizing over how you “stack up.” And, you make peace
with the woman in the mirror and you learn to give her the same
unconditional love and support you give so freely to others.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer”
hungry for your next fix…a new dress, another pair of shoes…or looks
of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who
pass by. And you discover that…”it is truly in giving that we
receive”…and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of
the giving. And you recognize the importance of “creating” & “contributing”
rather than “obtaining” & “accumulating.”
And you begin to love and to honor yourself.
And you stop engaging in self-destructive behavior
including participating in dysfunctional relationships.
And you begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water
and taking more time to rest and exercise.
Then you learn about love and relationships…how to love,
how much to give in love, when to stop giving…and when to
walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly
loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch.
You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean
what they say, intentionally or unintentionally and that not
everyone will always come through…and interestingly enough,
it’s not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing
fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done
to you…or weren’t done for you. And you learn to acknowledge
and redirect the feelings of anger, jealousy and resentment you
sometimes feel…least they suffocate your spirit and steal your soul.
You learn how to say I was wrong and to forgive people for their
own human frailties and to build bridges instead of walls…and
you learn about the healing power of love as it is expressed
through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture…At the
same time, you eliminate ANY relationships that are hurtful or fail
to uplift and edify you. And you stop working so hard at smoothing
things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings
of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want
or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating
your needs. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose
to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you
learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the
importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn
that you don’t know all the answers, it’s not your job to save
the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
And, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as
you would have them be and you are careful not to project your
neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that
you will not be, more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable
or important because of the man on your arm or the child that
bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change
so it is with love and relationships….and that not everyone
can always love you the way you would want them to or live life
just to suit your needs, ease your insecurities or meet “your”
standards and expectations. And, you learn the difference between
wanting and needing and you stop trying to control people, situations
and outcomes. And, you learn that “alone” does not mean
“lonely” and you begin to discover the joy of spending
time “with yourself” and “on yourself.”
You avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time
and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends because
you’ve learned that talking about things doesn’t change them. You
learn that wishing for something is different from working to make
it happen. And you begin to invest your time and energy to affect
positive change. You take a personal inventory of the areas you need to
improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a
plan of action to see things through. 
You learn that life isn’t always fair and you don’t always get what
you think you deserve. You stop personalizing every loss or disappointment.
You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and
that these things are not an act of God…but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees because you’ve learned that the
only thing you can really count on is the unexpected…and that
whatever happens, you’ll learn to handle it. And you learn that the
only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time
FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears
because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your
terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy
and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life
living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY…the personal power and
independence it brings and the options it creates. And
you recognize the necessity, to create your own personal
wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself
by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart’s
desire. And you live with honor and integrity…because you
know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a
by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation
upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every
wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang
a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what
beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart, you
take a stand, you TAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the
life you want to live as best as you can.
Written by: Sonny Carroll 

i’m sowwwie

We sit and ring our hands, thinking of ways to feel better.  What could we say?  What could we do?  We hurt someone… how can we come to terms with that?
We used our voice to intimidate and we showed them what we were made of.  Now if only we could stop thinking about it.  If only we could figure out how to move on from the anger we feel and the offense we took.
Maybe we could take it out on someone else… continue the chain of destruction.
Perhaps we could yell or scream… release some of the confusion out loud.
Maybe just try to forget about it… pack the frustration away for the next battle.
Or… we could be brave enough— we could be big enough— to apologize
We could choose to look at our own behavior as a contribution.  We could face ourselves and hold ourselves accountable for our part in things.
And then we could let out a collective sigh and begin again…
…with dignity and a smile.
This can be our choice.

I’m flawed, but you can call me Meg

She wears her hair in curly pigtails
And doesn’t mind the sloppiness.
She goes days without washing it,
Embracing the accumulated grit from a hard slogged week.

She refills her favorite mug as many times as possible
With the coffee that fuels her overall stamina.
As a result of this tragic caffeine dependency,
Her teeth are permanently stained in certain spots.

She bites her fingernails compulsively
When life’s stresses get particularly unpleasant.
She leaves them natural- unpolished-
Because it chips off anyway,
So why bother?

Her eyebrows slowly but surely merge
After months of letting them go.
Plucking and grooming takes too much time-
Time that she would rather not sacrifice
For superficial desires.

When she’s at home, she’s in scrubs-
The same outfit every night.
It’s a source of comfort that she anticipates
After the effort to primp for a job
She feels indifferent about.

She knows she’s odd;
Totally aware of her quirks.
They used to bother her.
But not anymore.
They used to haunt her.
Until she chose to think otherwise.

She knows she’s odd,
And she doesn’t much mind.
Being imperfect
Is perfectly fine.